RE: Enjoying God
lnf > 03-02-2018, 06:04 AM
What do I enjoy about God? Goodness! That’s a tall order there, Praise! It would probably be easier for me to tell you what I don’t enjoy about God. LOL
First and foremost, I must mention my salvation through Jesus Christ. Without that, I would literally be “toast”. LOL
That being said, I’ll say a few things:
I am a widow. I admit that I miss a few things about my earthly husband. I miss being able to look into his eyes and talk things out. And I miss his touch, especially being wrapped up in his arms when I hurt.
But the day I brought my husband home from the hospital to die (under Hospice care), I actually felt the arms of “The Comforter” holding me up as I invited his (literally) 100’s of friends and colleagues into our home to say their last goodbyes. Yes. I am talking about a physical touch. Palpable. Genuine. This year marks 10 years since I became a widow. No, I have not felt that palpable touch since then…not even on the day I buried my husband. That surprised me, truth be told. But I came to understand that I didn’t “need” that touch on that particular day…even though I wanted and expected it…
And no, Jesus has never come to me and looked me in my eyes, but I believe He does speak to me through dreams. My husband and I did not have a “happy” marriage. Mind you, it wasn’t all bad, but frankly, he was mentally abusive to me at times. After he died, I couldn’t sleep, and if I did sleep, I had nightmares. Nightmares so terrible that I didn’t want to sleep! Worms crawling all over his body, him touching me and me being repulsed and screaming to get away! Through much prayer (and counseling), the dreams changed. The more hurt I let go, the more the dreams changed. I vividly remember my “turning point” dream. We were swimming in a narrow stream. As I swam the stream, he chased after me. He wanted to “reconcile”. I kept just out of his reach…and the dream ended…
But after that night, whenever I see Larry in my dreams, I see his likeness, but he is actually my husband Jesus. He gives me wise counsel, He comforts me, and I find peace in His arms. I am content.
And then there are answered prayers. Sometimes it’s instantaneous. Like the time my dog bolted past me just as I was leaving for work. I chased him in my dress and high heels across our 2-acre yard, only to find him next to a snarling pit bull and his two females. I looked up to the sky, breathed “Please”, grabbed my dog’s collar and walked him back to the house. I immediately got in my car and drove right past the place the dogs were just moments earlier. They were nowhere to be seen…and they never came back.
I can call on Him whenever I need him…like the night my son had an accident with a table saw. He cut off his left thumb completely and damaged all the fingers on that hand. That night, I had to ask my son what no mother should…Honey, where is your thumb? He was transported by ambulance to a trauma center about an hour away. I was allowed to ride in the ambulance. So I found myself in a surgical waiting room overnight, all by myself, with no car, a dead cell phone and horrendous visuals. Every time the visuals would come to me, I prayed. And every time I prayed, the visuals would be taken from me. I prayed a lot that night, and I made it through…
And some prayers take time and circumstance. My son was troubled before his father died. Unfortunately, my husband did not allow me to make an intervention. After he died, the problems with my son escalated. In fact, he committed a serious crime, so I placed him in a home for troubled youth for just over a year. That is quite a long story, so I won’t get into all the details, but he graduated the “program” and came out with what amounted to a “go forth and sin no more” on the criminal charges. But we still had troubles. He promptly dropped out of school. I had and did pray lots of prayers. In fact, I gave him back to God at the moment I knew he committed the crime. I tried really hard not to “take him back” because I knew that He might need to take my son to places that I might not be willing to go. I prayed. I tried. I tried and I prayed. And then the accident happened. It took close to a year, but God used that accident to get my son back into school. He actually graduated a year early. And even without his thumb or the full use of the fingers on his left hand, he now has a good job with an electrical company. You wouldn’t know that he has a disability if you don’t look closely…he can do everything that is required of him!
Are things perfect? No. But whose life is this side of Heaven? I continue to pray for my son…and the two Grands he has given me.
I love my Grands. I love my son. And I love my God Who preserved my son, who might have been taken from me 10 years ago...